fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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