I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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