Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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