Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
