no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
