I heard we made out
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
