How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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