Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
