I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize