I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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