Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize