Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
