I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
