He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize