quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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