Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize