Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
