Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
