It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
