Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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