HIV tests are more positive than that guy
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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