I just pynch a tree in the face
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
