so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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