I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
