So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
