So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize