What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
