There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
