he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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