nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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