Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
