Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He better not be in your backpack
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
