sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
