Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
