wanna go halves on a baby?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
