she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
