what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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