I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize