i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Houston, we have a blender
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize