Whod you bang
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
