More tranny stories later!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i already hear my dad disowning me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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