you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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