I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize