it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
