We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Houston, we have a squirter
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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