so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
