let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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