No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
How's work?
Spinning.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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