I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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