My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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