my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
