Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
