I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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