her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
