Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
