I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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