I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
