I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
