Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it hurts more in the daytime
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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