Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
