Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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