friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize