i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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