What a fucking waste of an outfit
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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