All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
