He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
