Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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