you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize