I think I am morally bankrupt
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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