It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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