Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We were destined to go to rehab together
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize