how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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