I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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