i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
