Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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