bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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