Ambien. No doubt about it.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
